Friday, July 15, 2005

More thoughts

Apparently I have been thinking a lot these days. It has probably come to the time where I subconsciously step back and take a look at my life. It saddens me somewhat. I wonder what exactly are my goals or aim in life? I don't feel like I have any. Every day is a replica of the previous one. Wake up, get breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner (now cook dinner as well), do some stuff on the computer and sleep. I have no idea what that is achieving. I have not made more friends in my time here. In fact I feel lonelier than ever. I think I could probably count the number of words I say in a day now.

Two months have passed in my work place and I have given up on trying to foster any sort of friendships with the people around me. It is just too difficult. The environment is just not the best place for making friends I guess. Everyone just does their own thing. I just float in and out every day like a speck of dust.

Given my demoralised state at this point in time, I also thought I would read up on some motivational quotes to try and find some meaning to my life. But all I conclude that they generally tell you that life is what you make out of it. The problem is I don't even know what exactly I am trying to achieve to try and make anything out of it. Whatever I hope and wish for just doesn't happen no matter how hard I try. Even the phrase "kindness begets kindness" doesn't turn out for me.

A thought has been hanging around in my head after I read about the real life trials that Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios) has gone through. In any case, more than one person has also said that you should live everyday like it is your last. I have been wondering how do you do that? From the looks of it, I am certainly wasting a lot of good time by not achieving anything. Have to think about that some more (yeah right and waste more time).

Sad doggy - but still cute Posted by Picasa

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." ~ Joan Rivers (American humorist, b.1935)

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